I'm sick. I've been relatively sick now for 4 days, but I guess that means I have to get better soon, right? Right??
I've gone on a couple interviews so far, not sure if any of them are looking up or will lend themselves to my actually being employed, but at least I get as far as the interview process, I guess. I just gotta stick with it and see what happens (or so they say). I suppose it might be easier if I could gather up some hidden enthusiasm for my field and shrug off this burn out for the interview and try to make people believe that YES! I LOVE architecture! and I always have, etc etc...
Don't get me wrong. I do love architecture, but I also have always had other interests. And my burnout wasn't so much for architecture as it was for architecture SCHOOL, but it is still hard to know what I am doing with my life and where I am going (so much has changed from where I thought I was going just in the last year of my life).
Speaking of which, I keep having weird dreams of my ex... what's up with that? I am mostly over him emotionally, it seems, but now I get all these dreams and memories flooding back to me at night and it's bizarre and I can't stop it and I don't know why it has to be him again. Any thoughts anyone?
Anyways, I gotta go back to the grind of medication and sleeping to try to get rid of this illness before my upcoming interview...

Okay so only one person said they missed my entries, but I'm writing again.
How can I possibly describe how much my life has taken a turn in the past few months?
Lets see....
I quit school. I'm back home looking for a job but I have an interview already (go me), and apparently I have an impressive resume/portfolio (SUCK IT TECH!!!). I have some people who want to be with me, but honestly I'm in such a mental state from uprooting everything I ever thought I wanted to having not much of anything that I can't settle down to a relationship too well (and the guys know this, go figure). I am glad they are being patient with me as I get my life in order.

So I'm not going to Paris (don't ask, it's depressing), but at least I don't feel like I'm about to lose my mind and slash my wrists open, right? Because every time I walked into that building to do schoolwork I wanted to bash my head through the cinderblock walls... and I think the walls would've won.

I might write more later, but I have people talking to me, and I think they want my attention. I can always come back and write more here later, but eventually they might actually get up and not be sitting at their computers.

I haven't posted in awhile.
I'm not engaged anymore, but if you didn't know that than MAN are you not talking to me. :p

Uhm... school is insanely busy and insanely difficult now, for several reasons... the classes are hard, being here is hard because of memories and because of people going "Why are you still here?!"... I mean really, the sensitivity of some people is disturbing.
But honestly, things are going okay. Stressful and all, but okay.
I'm going to Paris in the spring, yay!! The Art's Study Abroad Paris program is being offered to us archies and I'm definately going. I might even meet one of the Aussies I talk to and his g/f. Hopefully soon I'll be able to go to Australia and meet all of them.
That's about all I have to say for now...


oh, it's raining/flooding/and I'm soaking wet w/ the AC on full blast, joy...

Lets see...
home now.
School ended okay.
Got a cell phone now.
I'm sick so I don't really feel like typing more than that right now.
If you want my number, leave a post or email me and I might tell you what it is.

As of 12:03 a.m., I am now 23 years old.

I'm in class right now (technically). I'm actually in the computer lab waiting for something of mine to print out. Examples of a glass roof with minimal structure, if you were curious.
I have been so dizzy today. It feels like the earth is breathing and I can hardly maintain my balance on it. I wish I could go lie down, but alas, I am in class, and it's slightly important that I be there and figure out this roof issue.
Why am I dizzy, you may ask. Allergies. Yep, something that simple. And yes I took meds for it too, but all they did was make me slightly less dizzy and a lot more drowsy. Seems my ears are more clogged than one pill can handle within a couple hours. Oh well. I'm sure I'll feel better after I lie down and take a nap... in an hour or so... if I'm lucky.
But I needed someone to do as my thing prints out because I can't turn the computer lab computer off (sorry for the confusing wording there), until it is done or it'll cancel the whole damn print job. Gotta love Tech.
Speaking of loving Tech. They are not closing the dorms down for Easter holiday, which makes sense because we only get an extended weekend off, but they decided it'd be a great idea to shut down all the food services. So what's the point of having the dorms open? This concerns me because I actually was not planning on leaving and I would like to eat during those four days. Thank you, Mr. Man at the Top of the Tower.
Anyways, the competition is going okay, I guess, except that no one is prepared to do any of the work that needs to be done. I know it just sounded like I made no sense, but seriously, the idea is the really hard battle half the time, and the other half is sticking to it. Usually the fact that you need to draw technical drawings and really concise and precise plans never comes in to play for studio (that's what our other classes are for), but since it's a national competition, it suddenly matters like a hole in the head. And we are trying to stem the bleeding desparately... we won't know until May if it was to any avail or not, and I suppose I'll tell you if it was.

I am terribly sorry to all those people who tried to talk to me recently. I feel the need to explain that I have very precious free time, and the time I do have I spend playing the "most addictive game" award winning WoW (World of Warcraft, for the non-gamers) and usually that is teamed with talking to Lucas as he plays with me. So again, I am terribly sorry. Perhaps we can all have a chat in, I dunno... June?
:)

Today I pictured taking a gun to my head.
It has been such a long time since I've had vivid thoughts about suicide, and I would never do it, but it is still there in my mind.
No, I don't want to talk about it.

Okay maybe I'm late on this, but this is really funny real-life stuff.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_spagetti_monster